after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
