therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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