at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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