Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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