i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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