I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
