for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
