Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
