so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
