It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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