shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
