i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
