We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize