2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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