"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
