I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
