apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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