Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
