so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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