cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Found your dick twin last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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