lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
