you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
