u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My nipple is on Facebook.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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