Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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