Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
