You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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