He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
