Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
