My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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