we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
