ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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