Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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