I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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