just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
