I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
