Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
