I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
