If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
