Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
