Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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