She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
two words...techno handjob
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
