she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize