WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
