Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
