around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
