i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
