Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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