Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
