NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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