remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
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Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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