I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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