I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
