At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
