small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Still dying that you shit outside
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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