And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
His nipple licking is glorious
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