every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
