You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
