dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
