he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
