We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
