You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
