all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
