does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
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Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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