Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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