you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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