DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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