It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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